EXPOSE | So Many Things, So Little Attention
“I tried so hard to do everything, that nothing received my full attention.” – mjkemp91
EXPLORE | What is Worth Finishing?
There are actually very few things in this life that should receive our full attention. And therein lies the tension.
We can’t do everything. We’re not supposed to do everything. So why do we keep trying to do everything?
I’m what could be described as ‘an incredibly good starter’. I’ve started a good many things. Based on some pretty grandiose dreams (Go big or go home, right?). Well, those big dreams required a lot of attention–probably too much attention–so now I find myself surrounded by a lot of things that have only been started.
Within the last year, I lost my mom and my father-in-law. What was left unfinished is a good reminder of what actually needs to be done. All the house projects and papers yet to be filed, were nothing compared to hearing the love, admiration and gratitude in the eulogies of Grandma and Pops who gave their full attention to what mattered most.
What is most important should get our full attention. Because in the end, it’s not how many things we start, but what gets finished that is vital.
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
Matthew 6:33
This, I believe, is what Jesus was getting at in Matthew 6:33. My paraphrase: do the one thing, and the rest of the stuff will work itself out. Just. One. Thing. One very important thing–not 15 things.
But instead of asking ‘what should I start doing?’, maybe we should consider asking it this way: What is worth finishing?
Here, I think, is where the pandemic provided a benefit. We were forced to give our full attention to what was most important. There was nothing to fear missing out on. The world had all but stopped.
The pandemic provided some relief from FOMO, if not an opportunity to self-correct, and allowed us to, as they say, not let a ‘perfectly good crisis go to waste’.
But in order to do that, we needed to have given our full attention to those things that are worth finishing.
Sean O’Connell seemed to have this gift. He’s the TIME photographer played by Sean Penn in the movie The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. Walter, played by Ben Stiller, needed to track Sean down is some remote part of the world. It was an amazing scavenger hunt for Walter as he tried to pinpoint Sean’s location. He finally found him in the Himalayas patiently waiting a rare siting of a snow leopard. Undeterred by the climate, the lack of amenities, and—most amazingly, how could anyone even consider doing this–without a phone! No unnecessary distractions for hundreds of miles. He had been waiting for days to capture this ‘ghost cat’ on film.
He gave his full attention to this single effort, which when do, necessarily blurs the distractions around us and allows us to capture the moment we’ve been waiting for in perfect detail. We see it for all it’s worth.
You may not know this, but there is a legitimate form of FOMO.
With Matthew 6:33 in mind, you know who had legitimate FOMO? Simeon. Sam Allberry, in his article “Why Christmas Is the Antidote to FOMO”, highlights the story of Simeon in Luke 2: 29-30. Simeon had just one thing he needed to see before he died–satisfied–and that was to see the new born King. That was one simple, yet profound bucket list.
EXECUTE | Live With the End in Mind
Simeon had a primary affection that drove him to pursue, until the end of his life, the greatest thing he would ever lay his eyes on.
What is worth finishing that we would hold out such an affection for that demands our full attention–even for lifetime?
Start with the heart
Could it be time for a new affection? What should our hearts long for? Answering this question separates the ‘like to haves’ from the ‘need to haves’. This new affection should put into perspective our fear of missing out on things we shouldn’t fear missing out on.
Know how FOMO finds you
Business Insider, a few years back, cited research indicating there may be certain times that we are more susceptible to this ‘fear’: “Results showed how FOMO was highest later on in the day and near the end of the week.” We should be aware of our vulnerabilities to it, but also keep from putting ourselves in situations where we could be unduly influenced by it. Do you really need 5 news apps?
The most important thing is the first thing
Our new affection should take a front row seat. Because it is one of the more important things, it should be focused on first. Pushing it down the list only sets us up for distraction by things we no longer care about missing out on. Make sure it is not only given the right priority in our lives, but the right priority in our day.
Fear Joy in missing out
A popular response to FOMO is JOMO. The Joy Of Missing Out. It’s like the ‘nah, nah, nah, nah, boo, boo” in the face of FOMO.
“JOMO… embraces disconnecting from technology and living in the moment… allows you to move at your own pace… to pay attention to what is happening right now.”
Dr. Krista Schenkel
That we have a new affection means that we can actually appreciate the benefit, and even find joy, in missing out on things we should have no fear of missing out on.
We will miss out on things all the time, throughout our whole lives. The anxiety and fear that is built up around the impossibility of changing that is unwarranted and unjustified. What we should fear, is missing out on those few things that we should not miss out on, finishing well only that which should be finished.
Further reading:
Burn Your Boats: A Warning About FOMO
Why Christmas is the antidote to FOMOM
Why we experience the fear of missing out
Fear of missing out can negatively impact your life
Photo by Danny Howe on Unsplash